Catch Up

I have been back in the US for five months already. It's been hard to believe. My life in many ways is very different from a year ago, but some things remain the same. I hope I say in a year, though, that things have changed a lot. Bring on 2011.

I'm back living at home for the first time since high school. It's nice to be with family again, but I do miss my independence.

My degree is finally being put to use in a real way as I am teaching ESL in four public schools. Work has taken over my life. I love my kids. I love that they come from all over the world. They are all so beautiful and make me long to travel and see all the places they come from. I learn a lot from them everyday.

I'm still struggling with finding my calling, though. I read an article the other day that encouraged twenty-somethings to go back to school and/or change careers--that it's okay, that it's even normal. I just don't know how practical that is for me. I don't want to be in debt for forever. I'm not sure how to pay for more school and I'm not sure what career I would want to change to. All I know is that my heart is the happiest when I am serving. Maybe that's the missing piece right now. Maybe my job is fine for making money, but I need to find a way to serve.

I miss working in ministry. My life is very selfish right now. I don't give my time or resources to much of anyone. I've been so overwhelmed with work that I've shut down all other parts of my life. I feel stagnant. This year I need a Bible study and a new way to serve--things that I just haven't found yet in Fayetteville. I've found a great church and the friends are coming along, but I need more. I need a more outward focus.

I'm not much of a resolution maker, but here's what I want out of 2011:

1. Wisdom. I want to shed my stubborn ways and reject folly (in the language of Proverbs).

2. Joy. Real joy. I have always, always, always struggled with being content in all circumstances.

3. Love. I want to more fully embrace God's love for me and then show that love to all people around me.

4. Health. I want to feel better and to have more energy to better serve other people.

So this year I will not dwell on the past. Rather, I will focus on now and prayerfully anticipate what is to come.