Say a Prayer for Dora

It's funny how things make you think. My 1996 Explorer (Dora) showed yet another problem this week and is still in the shop. I love my car. Sometimes I think I want a new one, but really I'm okay driving this one for longer. I don't want to buy a car because buying a car is a commitment. That means I have a stable enough job to pay for it and a stable job makes me feel trapped. I'm back to my same old problem of not knowing where I want to go or what I want to do next.

I really miss the adventure of living abroad. Not every day in Japan was fun. Some days were frustrating, some were lonely, but overall I really, really miss living there. The last five months or so were incredible. I miss Osaka. I miss the church. I miss the food. I miss the language. I miss the culture.

These thoughts led me to do a little job searching today. I know that's the last thing my parents want to hear. I'm sure they want to me to put down some roots here in Fayetteville where they are. I just don't know if I can do it, though. I need more.

I wish I could find a job that I'm passionate about that pays. I mean actually pays. No support raising. I still have debt. I want to be financially responsible. But should I really have to give up on my passions to do so? I don't know. Maybe I need to for a few years. But I feel like there has to be SOMETHING else out there for me. I'm just not sure where to start looking.

Dora needs to last a little longer. I need her to buy me a little more time to figure things out.