A 7-Month Update

It has been seven months since my last post. Recap:

April: My last month in Booneville was a time filled with excitement, sadness, fear, and relief. I never thought it would be so hard to say goodbye. Oddly enough, I still find myself missing that little town in Arkansas some days. Life was complicated yet simple there. I have to visit again.

May-August: My summer as Site Director in Raleigh/Durham was exhausting, intense, meaningful, yet not quite satisfying. I had a great staff. We worked with some great ministries. We had incredible church groups visit our site. But overall, I didn't feel fulfilled in my time there. I didn't connect with the community on as deep a level as I would have hoped. I think GreaterWorks completely wrecked YouthWorks for me. But in a good way. I grew in some ways--mostly leadership, problem solving, and conflict resolution. I still have such a long way to go, though. This summer once again exposed all of my weaknesses--namely pride, selfishness, doubt, and apathy. I think I become more and more thankful for God's grace everyday of my life. I am so thankful for a Savior who is perfect when I myself am soooo far from it.

September: One month down, 11 to go here in Japan. My heart and mind are so conflicted that I have no idea to begin how to describe my life here. The culture is very homogenous and intense. It was intimidating at first--and might still be. I am becoming more comfortable, though. You would think with as many English teachers as they hire here that more of the population would, you know, speak English....but that is simply not the case. I expected the first few months to be filled with struggles. Honestly, things aren't that bad, but right now I have three issues that I am wrestling with:

1) Language. I feel guilty that I do not understand more of the language by this point. I can barely form basic sentences--very basic. It is so hard to force myself to study. This is namely because Japanese is a very overwhelming language. I've spent weeks learning how to read. But now I am really diving into vocabulary and grammar. Whoa. So much to learn. I feel like I'll never get anywhere which is so frustrating. I tend to place myself in an English bubble when I am alone at home (which is a lot). I always want to listen to music, watch American TV shows or movies, or talk to people back home--good for my sanity, bad for my Japanese.

2) Loneliness. I have met some nice people, but after 5 or 6 weeks here, I still have no one that I can really call a friend. No one to hang out with, go shopping with, see movies with, or even just talk with. Basically if I am not teaching or visiting a church, I am alone. All the time. Plenty of time for reflection. But also plenty of time for depressing, discouraging thoughts--attacks from Satan.

3) Ministry. We had our first Bible study at Grace this past Sunday. Three elderly people came. Realization: witnessing to old Buddhists is not going to be at all easy. These people have had a lifetime to form their thoughts and opinions. I can do my part, but it really is all entirely up to the Holy Spirit. Only He can really impact their hearts. He can penetrate them where my words fail. I wish I knew how to minister to those in my generation and younger. I have not seen many Christians in their teens or twenties. The other day I had a thought that both scared me and intrigued me. What if God is calling me to live here much longer than a year? What if He opens those doors for me to minister to young people here? I have no idea if that will happen or what it would look like--but hmmmm. It would make learning Japanese so much more worth it...

So, friends, please pray:

--That God would provide me with genuine Christian fellowship here. A church home--preferably bilingual with people my age.

--That I would learn enough Japanese to communicate with those around me

--That I would learn how to effectively communicate Christ to Buddhists and/or those who are apathetic about all religion