I'm bad at this.

This is my first blog. I feel the pressure to succeed. But should it be funny, heartfelt, thought-provoking? Just to warn you, it probably won't be any of things. At all.

I don't even know why I decided to write start a blog. I can't say that I've ever wanted to before. Maybe it's Booneville. Maybe this whole experience has made me a more introspective person. Whatever the reason, here goes:

I only have three more months left in Booneville. What happened? Life is closing in on me. And it's fast. I thought doing GreaterWorks would buy me a year to figure things out. That "year" will be coming to an end soon. Then the busyness of YouthWorks will ensue. Then....? I have a job offer in Japan. Be careful how you pray because God will answer you. Sometimes you think you know what you want and you're desperate for it...you doubt that you will get it, but then BAM. It falls right into your lap when you least expect it. Sounds a little cliche, right? I know. But dang. It's true. I majored in ESL so I could work in other countries. I have never really had the desire to work in a public school--especially not in the US. My parents, unfortunately, disagree with these desires. They won't be happy until I get a job in Georgia and live near them. I'm sure I could be happy there, but would it be the right kind of happiness?? Our current GreaterWorks curriculum is a book about prayer. Something in one of the last chapters I read really struck me. The author speaks about "divine discontentment." Think about it. God created us and knows our innermost desires--sometimes even before we have realized them. How amazing is that? Sometimes I am scared of my desires. Sometimes I want to live a safe and comfortable life. I'm sure I could be happy in Georgia, but would I really be content? I don't think so. I think I would feel unfulfilled--"divine discontentment." So I might as well not give up on my dreams because they are now becoming reality, right? Reality is scary. But God is so much bigger than my reality--whatever that is. So is it Japan, then? This is a pretty big door that has been opened wide for me. Will I regret it if I don't go?

I wish I could explain all this to my parents. I wish they would listen if I could.

Other random thoughts that I won't take the time to connect:
-Why did God create snakes? I mean, really, what was He thinking? Look where it got Adam and Eve...and us.
-Why do a lot of Asians make the peace sign in their pictures? This is a mystery I hope to solve soon.
-Can I really move by myself to the other side of the world?
-I have about 26 books to read before I leave Booneville. Should I quit my ministries and stay at home to finish them?
-Praise God tomorrow is my sabbath. I wish every job I take in the future would give me a sabbath.
-What can I do for the cats living under our house?
-We should go hiking this weekend. The weather will be nice.